I still think that I am right about things a lot of the time, even though there are points of view expressed by others that seem to contradict or question my belief. However, these days there are more occasions that I listen to the little voice of doubt in my head which tells me that I ought to lighten up and consider perhaps that I am not always right and that other people may have a point.
I think what it boils down to is whether you have to work with other people in the furtherance of something or not. If it is your own project then it is probably okay to believe that you are right and do things the way you think they should be done, only changing your plans if the method or idea is proved to be wrong or just not working.
If you are working with another person or a group then it becomes necessary to achieve a consensus on most things which requires, for the best plan of action to be used, a group where everyone has a clear understanding of the factors involved, the technical know-how and confidence in themselves to be able to voice their views. Alternatively the group could select a member who is best suited to the task and leave them with the responsibility of that task. This works well if the group is clear about its policy and objectives and the members feel a sense of responsibility to the project and its successful completion.
It is very difficult to sit quietly when someone demands to do something a certain way when in your heart you feel that they are wrong, and particularly if you think you know a better way to do it. Does one speak up or diplomatically shut up and allow things to progress to see whether or not the idea is flawed? This is where my problem arises. In some cases I tend to think I know better and become blinkered to any other ideas whose successful out come I cannot visualise. It could be that the other idea is valid, and it may well produce fruit, but at that moment I believe that my idea is more practical, sensible or efficient. Is this a blessing or a curse?
However, if I don’t have an idea, or if I can see the value in a fellow’s plan, I am usually willing to work in harmony to achieve the common aim. I can then feel like I am sharing a common experience and thoroughly enjoy both the work and the achievement of the project’s completion. If I have had to accept a democratically arrived at solution which I do not feel has the best chance of success I will still work harmoniously although I will feel the need to interject ideas along the line. Whether I act on those feelings will depend on the progress towards the goal and my tolerance of the consensus. It does sometimes happen that I do change my mind about the value of other people’s ideas, either for or against, if I see that they are working or not.
So the whole thing seems to be about the ability to conceive of a solution to a problem and whether that conception is valid, righteous and practical. I suppose the only way to improve the likelihood of that happening is to study and learn as much about as many things as possible to gain a greater understanding of systems. Of course, it may be a good idea in any circumstances to stop the hunt for the solution if one finds that there is a gap in that knowledge and seek information to clarify the area of uncertainty. The internet is a valuable tool for this in may respects. There seems to be an unending supply of information and opinion, experience and statistics to enable a person to fully understand a problem and make an informed judgement on the best way forward.
I went to a type of medium once with a friend of mine. It was a psychometry reading where one places objects into a tray and the medium handles them and, from the auras endowed upon the objects by the owner’s contact with them, can get a feeling or message for the owner. This was all done anonymously by placing the items oneself into numbered squares of one’s own choice. The medium would announce the number before handling the item so that the owner would know that the reading was for them.
The point of my story here is to throw light on my original statement. The medium picked up my object, a key hanging from a chain which I wore constantly around my neck.
“Oh”, she said, “You are right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re always right! Don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong! You are right, and you know it, and it is true, you are.”
I know some, or most, people will find this all a bit ‘hocus pocus’ and probably think that the whole practice is charlatanism, but the next thing she said also made sense; not immediately, but later in my life, for it was a prediction for the future. She said that she could see me in a large house with a barn. She could see a woman surrounded by children with long black hair, dressed in long skirts, standing at the gate. That was my harvest, and it was bountiful. Those that know me will be aware of my situation and that indeed I do live in a big house with a barn and that all the other parts of the vision are true as well. Think what you will – this one came true!
So again, I had advice from someone in my life about who I am, and who I should be. Just like my physics teacher this lady had struck a chord with what I thought of myself, and had given me license to go on being me. Some people will think this is hardly the stuff to base your life on, but I would answer with a question – if not this, what is good enough? It is never easy trying to balance who we are with who we think we should be, and I would say that we shouldn’t try to lest we put out the flame of spontaneity. Just be yourself without trying, just let it out, you can always mop up the mess later if it goes wrong. However, I believe ‘wrong’ is a subjective judgement call usually made by people who are not on your wavelength. The concepts of right and wrong, however, will have to be the subject of another treatise.
© Richard Holt 2014